A Bouquet of Newly Sharpened Pencils

As you can see, I am quite the avid blogger. Following my first and only post, I evidently took an almost 2-year blogging sabbatical. Recently, my husband has been encouraging me to start again. I’m going to give it a whirl, but am slightly dubious my efforts will persist or be somewhat consistent. I really enjoy writing, but find it difficult to make the time to do it. We’ll see how it goes!

I love this time of year - the coming of fall (my favorite season) and, for the past 17 years, the anticipation and fresh beginning of a new school year. I love buying school supplies, color coordinating my folders and notebooks and using new highlighters. It often reminds me of a quote in one of my favorite movies, You’ve Got Mail (yes, I’m lame). Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) is instant messaging via AOL (doesn’t that seem ancient!?) Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan), their identities unbeknownst to each other. Joe Fox writes one brisk September morning, “Don’t you just love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.” I love that – a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils. Imagine how good they would smell!

But this year is different. There is no anticipation or excitement, no new school supplies. After 5 years of college class, it seems so odd to continue working full-time as everyone else in Seim starts class. I have no syllabi with dates of quizzes and tests to put in my planner, no books to purchase and no lectures to attend. My classmates, many of whom I have seen every school day for 5 years, are scattered across the country, not to be reunited until May 13, 2011– graduation day.

Instead, my next school year consists of eight 5-week rotations, each with a different practice setting. Just for the record, I am not a person who loves change. I appreciate familiarity, routine, schedules, stability and predictability. I also hate the first day, actually the first week, of starting a new job. This year, I will experience 8 first weeks. As I’ve already completed 2 of these, I can say my feelings have not changed. However, I do appreciate and am grateful for the Lord’s hand over this world and my life, orchestrating in complete sovereignty what is best for me and sanctifying me through uncomfortable and difficult situations. I cannot put my hope or trust in myself or my worthless ability as a pharmacist to make it through this year and all these first weeks. I am constantly reminded of my insufficiency and need for Jesus, growing in relying on him, trusting in his promises and practically applying the gospel to my everyday life. I take great comfort and hope in who he is, and rejoice in what he is doing in my life. It will be a challenging year, but one which I hope will draw me closer to Jesus, to Jeremy (as we will be apart fairly often), produce character growth and provide opportunities to share Jesus with the people with which I will interact. Educationally, I hope my knowledge and experience in pharmacy will also grow, helping to prepare me for boards and a job as a future pharmacist. I have a hunch many surprises await these next 6 rotations!